It´s cold here.

So I’m here in Esteli and I’m kind of cold. It’s 7 pm and it’s about 56 degrees outside. I’m so glad that it’s actually somewhat cold; I get to wear my cardigans and scarves early on in the trip. J Other than that, I feel pretty lonely and it’s a little strange that I feel lonely considering I see about 25 different family members every day. I wake up to the sounds of my young cousins playing on the street. I eat breakfast and then I chat for an hour with my aunt and then I head out to my other aunt’s house where I watch movies and listen to music with three other cousins. Two days ago one of my cousins flew in from Spain, today his sister flew in from Cuba and next week their other sister will be flying in from Spain. I see them everyday and I practically spend every breathing moment with them. Technically I’m not on Global Learning Term yet since Slimbach said I should take a little vacation before starting everything. J I guess it’s nice to have a break but it’s also very lonely knowing that I’m doing nothing with my life right now. Well, I’m being as productive as I can, I’m trying to make sure I can go to UNAN in Managua (University) and then I called to sign up for Portuguese classes in Managua and now I’m trying to finalize everything for my internship. So I’m anticipating having an exciting life. J I’ve been struggling with either staying in Esteli and being a little safer and closer to family or going to Managua, being close to some family and being in a little bit of danger. Danger sounds so intense… so not danger I guess just being a little more careful. J So I guess I feel lonely because I have tons of people around me yet none of them really understand what the heck I’m doing here. I think I’m leaning more towards going to Managua so I don’t feel like I’m on another family vacation and I actually will have to get used to a new place. I’m excited for being by myself in a non-lonely way, if that makes any sense. I feel at my best when I’m traveling by myself. I feel like I’m actually doing something when it’s up to me to take initiative or up to me to see where I’m going. I love spending entire days alone walking around the city having an inside conversation with myself. J It’s really liberating, makes me think of who I am, why what I chose to study is so perfect for me, etc. So here’s where I am so far… I like the time I get to spend with my family but I can’t wait until I leave to Managua and get to discover something a little different. I’m excited for maybe interning at the school my church has in Vista al Xolotlan. I don’t know what I’d be doing yet but I’m excited… those kids have my heart and I would get to see the young girl I sponsor everyday. J

Other than that, my mom had her first chemotherapy yesterday and so I felt pretty crappy even though I know she’s doing really well. I guess I just thought to myself: “great timing Dory.” But I guess you cant really change what you’ve already done… all I can do is pray that she’ll be ok and that I wont feel so bad for being here and not next to her. I know I NEED to be here and I know I SHOULD be here but my heart for now is somewhere else.

Ok, on a lighter note, I try to read my Momma T devotionals every day along with reading my Bible and yesterday’s devo was great. (Momma T is Mother Teresa for those that don’t know and just for further reference when I talk about Papa G its Gandhi and Aunt Roy is Arundhati Roy, all amazing people J) anyway, here goes the devo…

It is said that humility is truth and Jesus is truth, therefore, the one thing that will make us most Christlike is humility. Hiding the gifts God has given you or doing your work in an inefficient way is not humility.

Say this little prayer often: “Jesus, you said that anything we ask in your name will be granted. Therefore, in your name and for love of you, I ask you to grant me the grace to love you only, the grace to make my heart like yours, meek and humble.”

That was nice. Ok so here we go… things I miss, things I love, and one funny story.

Things I miss (in no particular order)
Chipotle
My mom and my family
Baby Eddie (he’s also family but he deserves a category of his own) J
Sarai (also a category of her own)
Baby Jeep and driving
Mosaic
A warm shower
Laundry done in a washing machine and not left out in the rain so that there is a permanent smell and sometimes stains in your clothes. Dang.
A light green sweater I forgot
My comforter. It’s so beautiful.
My brother’s laugh
Team Nicaragua… Esteli has their name all over it. L I miss you guys so much.
Downtown LA specifically Lost Souls on 4th St.
POM White Peach Tea
Being able to wake up without a bug bite
My beautiful friends

Things I love
Nicaraguan cheese
Prune ice cream… sounds gross but is SOOOOO good (mom, I know you’re jealous)
Buying street fruits
Walking to visit family
The fact that it’s cold here!
Nicaraguan coffee and I have a secret love affair
Soda in a bag
Laughing till I pee my pants with my cousin Claudia
Power outages… it’s a great time to think about how powerless we are. J And well, an excuse to not answer the phone or do your hair.
My aunt Alicia and Uncle Arnulfo (they just get better)
Watching how the rain makes my city turn bright green. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
La Casita!!! (my team knows…)
Watching tons of white people walk around with their silly sandals and big backpacks and then helping them if they’re lost.
Sitting outside of an NGO acting like I work there in order to get wireless internet
Tripping on uneven sidewalks. I have some sick bruises that I’m really proud of.
The children of Nicaragua are the cutest thing ever.
Walking around with an older family member and having them point to a total stranger and telling me they are somehow my cousin.
Waking up to the sound of… “Eeeeeelooootesssss, Taaaaaaammaaaaalllleeeesss, Wiiiiiiirrrriiillllaaasss!!!!” “Tomaaatteeee, Chiiiiilooooottteeee, Peeeeepiiiiinoooo!!!!” (for those of you that don’t know… street vendors are out at 5 am and they shout out what they’re selling and all the “empleadas” or the helper ladies run out of the houses and get what they need for the day.)

Ok that’s a lot of things that I love. Now here’s my story.

I was walking around town two days ago, specifically in the park and I had my purse, my umbrella, my nalgene, and my cell phone in my hands. I was about to put my cell phone away when some man runs up and tries to take my phone. I don’t know what got into me but I used my umbrella and my nalgene in self defense or defense of my cell phone. I swung my nalgene that probably weighed like 2 pounds and my umbrella that looks kind of like a baton and I hit the man in the hands and the stomach. He ran away and some lady that was selling shaved ice congratulated me for hitting the robber. Afterwards I felt pretty bad but then I got over it because I realized my phone was pretty expensive and I at least found out my source of hydration and my source of outdoor shelter can double as weapons. Good call dory.

That’s it. Have a wonderful week.

Pray for my mom, pray for Nicaragua, pray that I don’t get dengue because there are a crap load of bugs chilling in poop during rainy season, and well, pray for me too. J

Love to you all!

Deja que el mundo te cambia y tu cambiaras el mundo.- Che (by the way, I met a guy that looks just like him! He’s half Palestinian half Nicaraguan but he’s married and has a baby… dang.)