eff this blog.

hi. eff this blog. i wont be writing here anymore.

im over overly sentimental travel blogs. :)

so go to my other blog suspirocerebral.blogspot.com

gracias.

a LOT has happened...

so its the month of november, i havent blogged eventhough so much is going on...

ive been stressing writing this blog because of all the things im seeing, feeling, and experiencing.

nicaragua is on fire. its the only way i can even describe it.

i dont want to take sides as to whos right and whos wrong i have no right to say what needs to be done here when the peace of this country doesnt affect me directly. i could simply leave nicaragua, go back to my shell in the states and just write about what i saw but i would've never felt what the nicaraguan people are feeling right now.

i am in between two worlds... more like many worlds. my students, which have become some of the most important people to me are part of a world called poor&helpless, my family is split into two worlds, liberales and sandinistas, political affiliations that in my opinion take us all down the same road, despair, hopelessness, and placing our faith in man when the only one that has never failed us is our God. the people of nicaragua are in the world of confusion, despair, disillusion, violence, hatred, love being preached with a rifle in one hand and a rock in another, the world of overabundance and vulgar disparities... the world as it is and nowhere close to the world as it should be... yet i will never lose sight that the Kingdom of God is still present here... no matter how much hatred is placed in the hearts of the people, the power of LOVE, love that is not preached but acted upon, love that is not on shirts or banners but in our homes and nations... there will never be an abundance of love but with just a small amount of love present much can be done, much can be fought, much can be defended, much can be FORGIVEN, much can be learned...

as i write this blog in my living room, i am listening to news... not on tv but down my block. three blocks from my house a guy was stabbed, no one helped him, they just stared, im listening to bazookas, i see cars, trucks, and buses filled with angry people with sticks, guns, and red or red and black flags... managua's rotondas are taken, the police is idle, the people dont know whats going on, daniel ortega is absent, all government offices are pushing and forcing their employees, sandinista or not to join the "struggle" and go out to the street to defend the sandinista vote.

im not much of a journalist so look it up yourself... el nuevo diario, la prensa, washington post, google managua, nicaragua elections...

as the hills of california burn, the streets of managua are also in flames.

its as if the fire in our souls has been transferred to our homes and people's lives are in danger... the phone in my host home has not stopped ringing with news good and bad...

i cant even count how many human rights violations are taking place right now its all too much and from both sides of the spectrum.

both liberales and sandinistas are acting like children, fighting for what i consider one of the greatest sins, the deep desire of POWER.

as arundhati roy wrote:
To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.

feel what you wish. but one thing i ask is to learn to feel for those who hurt, for those who suffer for a cause that has never brought them true happiness just confusion... just the abuse of power and the neglect of basic human rights...

thats it from me in managua nicaragua.

if you pray, pray for this nation.

if you think, think of the situation in this nation.

if you feel, feel for the weak of this nation.

if you speak, learn to act on behalf of this nation.

read this if you want to know more:
http://www.economist.com/world/americas/displaystory.cfm?story_id=12607338&fsrc=rss

october for my momma.

as most of you know, my mom is battling breast cancer and is going on one of her last chemotherapies... things have gotten really difficult but God never ceases to amaze us. His grace, His love, His strength is what keeps us all going...

keep her in your prayers, she's who I love the most.


and take care of the women around you... they have a tendency to be the greatest fighters in the world.

.dory.

lets talk it out...

so again, im a slacker. i havent updated in such a long time. a lot is going on. the basics: new internship... new little ninos that i love. soo much on my mind and no words to describe it.

ive found a little thing called peace. simple yes but so neccesary.
i cry a lot. you all know that.
i am addicted to love lockdown by kanye. (thank you broderito)
i am in love with managuas new weather. winddddd. dios mio, there is AIR FLOW for once in this humid place!
i have the BEST host brother. whos also my prayer partner whos also one of my new best friends.
my host family's chihuahua got half eaten by their pitbull. hes at the hospital right now... its kinda sad. he was my roomate. not gonna lie im a little relieved there arent random chicken bones and flees in my room for now. but i still hope he gets better, he was alright.
so i feel like i need to travel a lot more... i havent moved much from my regular sites, managua, esteli... thats it. so im hoping to do some traveling in the month and a half i have left...

sorry this isnt such a deep blog... i cant put in words what i feel right now. i dont think what i feel really matters... i think what i do about what i feel matters the most.

i feel God in the craziest places... he's just as rebellious as all of us are... never wanting to be classified as one thing or another... never ceases to amaze me.

His grace is overwhelming.

His love for my family is our strength.

I have nothing to ask of Him but all to give... He is too good... even when we think all things are going so wrong.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

So be "aware" it doesnt hurt you... be "aware"... the person I love the most in the whole world is kicking breast cancer's ass right now... She is my source of happiness.

.dory.

gioconda belli

i just saw her. google her if you don't know who she is... she's one of the most famous nicaraguan authors. her hair is all frizzy and wonderful and she seems super nice. well, that was my experience today. i loved it.

things i miss.

my mom. i'm counting down the days til i see her in september...
my broderito, i love him soo much.
my baby eddie.
my baby sarai.
my marthita.
baby jeep.
karen quintanilla.
claudia gema diaz tinoco.
chipotle.
dry heat.
my bed.
the 605. hahahaha yeah RIGHT!

things i love.

my cousin michael.
my friend claudio.
my friend daniela.
my host mom. :) what a wonderful woman!
my classes.
portuguese.
the smell of mint.
pepe the dog.
esteli.
art of peace songs for tibet.
la chureca.
obviously, I love the Lord and how crazy He is for loving me.

.dory.

eff starbucks.

so... some of you know i have a deep deep love for coffee, good coffee.

i go to starbucks because it fills the void but im not a huge fan.

i have not found coffee in LA that is as good as casa del cafe's.

this wonderful coffee shop that is right in front of my house.

it makes life soo much better. and its pretty cheap. as you are all paying 3.50 for some mediocre latte im paying a dollar for the most wonderful latte with a little bit of baileys.

ohhh wonderful.

ok, i like my life.

.dory.

dang dang.

i leave in about 30 minutes to managua. i guess this is when the craziness starts.

im excited... my brother and his wife are having a baby! yaaaaaaay.

im excited... my mom is coming to visit in september!

im excited... i havent gotten dengue.

all is well.

may Abba fill you with His love.

what i miss

dry heat. (yes, believe it or not. humidity kills me.)
my mom, dad, brother, martha, baby eddie, sarai
chipotle
baby jeep.

(im glad this list is getting smaller)

what i love

buses in nicaragua
the portuguese language
mi familia
my rain jacket that saves me everytime
my new id card. im an official nicaraguan citizen and i can vote in november.
i love barack obama. hehe.
i love nicaragua... it justs gets better.

paz

.dory.