many things... many things...

So a lot has happened since I last felt inspired to blog.

At this specific moment I´m listening to a song by ricardo arjona called ella y el and its all about two polar opposites falling in love. In short, its a cuban marxist girl that falls in love with a republican ucla student. my favorite line is- que saben bill y fidel del amor?

beautiful song. ok now to my actual life.

recap...

i went to san juan del sur also known as the beach.
i stayed there from thursday til sunday when i had only planned to be there for a day. it ended up being absolutely amazing. i got to spend time with two of my favorite cousins and then my uncle, aunt, other cousin, and his girlfriend. it was really fun and we got to relax, swim a lot, lose our t shirt tans and eat a lot of seafood.

we got back to esteli, enjoyed the rest of our week, showed pictures to our family members and laughed at my hilarious video rendition of a national geographic special on san juan del sur.

I got back to Esteli feeling really refreshed and ready to kick my blues aside and get really excited about my life and what´s going to become of my life.

My aunt Alicita came from Germany and she´s amazing to have around. We share a bathroom and as of now we have a spastic showerhead and a toilet that needs to manually be filled up with water. its great.

I got my Nicaraguan birth ceritificate... well not really a birth certificate. My parents signed me up as a Nicaraguan when I was a child so now I will benefit from that because Ill get to take my portuguese classes at a reduced price and I´ll get to vote in the next Nicaraguan elections which I think are soon. (not presidential... dang)

I went to pick up Molly at the airport and bring her to Esteli. Molly is a fellow global studies major who is doing her GLT here as well. So I´ve got a familiar face here in Esteli... aside from my 694598694864 family members... hehe.

I think we are officially in the ¨canicula¨ which means a period of no rain during winter. so its hot right now and i cant wait til it rains again and everything cools down.

I got to visit Los Pipitos and drop off the gift I had for my baby Josue. For those of you that know Josue´s story, you know that seeing him meant the world to me. Josue is a one year old baby that has Cerebral Palsy, is semi blind, and has two hernias in his little testicles. I met him at one of the physical therapy days at Los Pipitos. He took my heart from just one look. He reminded me of my baby Eddie back home. They dont look alike but they´re the same age and I got to see what the life of a baby that is in constant suffering is like and compare it to the life that baby Eddie has back home. Both babies are loved and cared for yet their only differences are that one is healthy, the other is not, one has access to healthcare and the other´s illness is the result of poor care at a health center. Josue cant walk, crawl, turn over, talk, see, and I had never seen him smile. His hands were in tight fists and his feet were twisted. The day I saw him, I saw the pure essence of God´s love and His grace in that baby´s eyes. I saw him smile for the first time. I´ve never seen a smile as beautiful as his. It was so pure, so real. His smile lasted so long and it got even bigger as I got closer to him. I had so much joy when I saw that along with his hands now loose and his feet straight. His little hand held my finger tightly and I realized that moment was an encounter with the God I love. I know this sounds super cheesy and overly dramatic and sentimental but if my field of study didnt allow me to have feelings I would´ve died by now. All we study is sadness, heartbreak, hopelessness and my deepest desire is to see these things eradicated from our world... when I got to see a glimpse of God´s love I got to see that what I decided to dedicate my life to is worth it all. My entire life is worth one smile, one life changed, one minute of happiness is someones life. Its worth it. I´ve received so much love in my life, so many blessings, and I cant ever complain of what God has given me or what he is doing in my life. Im not talking about money or a house or clothes but the best thing I have in my life, my salvation, my heart, my family, my God above all else. I am filled with joy that surpasses all sadness. I am filled with hope that surpasses all hopelessness. I am filled with what humans cannot explain and only God can cause. I am filled with a small childs smile that although he is not healed (yet), although there are so many children on this planet that will never get to smile or enjoy life, God is their God, God is their hope and all of us that are dorment as they suffer are the cause of their pain if we are not their rescuers.

Reality can be a pain to hear... I will never choose bliss over reality. But what makes this world bearable is the sole existence of hope, hope that God can give, hope that can be reflected through our love and the dedication of our lives to loving until our hearts have run dry.

Thats it from me. mushy feely thoughts about my God and this love I will never fully understand.